I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
