I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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