so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize