She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
