Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
