fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
