I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
