The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
