I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
