Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The air was thick with penises
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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