I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
