She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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