Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
