That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
