You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Your penis caused this!
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