i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
