i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
id be glad to
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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