how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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