Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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