Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize