so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
