i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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