I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
grandma shit on top of the toilet
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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