Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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