Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
