That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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