Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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