Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
