i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
