i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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