i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize