I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
