So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize