Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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