I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
