Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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