We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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