We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
