I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
