In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
