im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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