my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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