Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
