How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
