arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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