You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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