Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
