Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
