I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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