i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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