Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
