Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
