i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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