Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i now understand why vodka
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
