I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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