Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
