okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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