Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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